


What we’ve got between us (are memories that no one can forget)

by LookGoodPlayGood



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke is a stupid girl that makes Lexa and Raven question everything, F/F, Lexa and Raven are bffs, Octavia has such a bad mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LookGoodPlayGood/pseuds/LookGoodPlayGood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They meet Clarke during their senior year.</p><p>And just like that, both are willing to toss aside a friendship that’s lasted since kindergarten. </p><p>or</p><p>Snippets of Lexa and Raven’s 12-year friendship and how one girl nearly fucks it all up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What we’ve got between us (are memories that no one can forget)

**Author's Note:**

> I just can't get it out of my head that Lexa and Raven would have such a strong relationship. But of course, who but the Princess could stick a wedge between them? Also kindergarten teacher Indra because I can so I did.

 

* * *

 

  **Kindergarten: Lexa - 5/Raven - 5**

 

Lexa and Raven meet on the first day of kindergarten.

 

Lexa is scared and clutches tightly to her big sister’s hand, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She doesn’t want Anya to leave her too. She doesn’t want to be left alone with all of the other kids because she doesn’t know anyone.

 

Raven isn’t so much as scared, but she feels the flutter of the ‘butterflies’ flapping around in her stomach. She puts on a brave face when her dad walks her into the classroom, her small hand gripping his hard calloused hand.

 

~

 

Anya leads Lexa over to the teacher’s desk, the teacher she had for kindergarten more ten years ago. She’s glad to see the woman is still teaching.  

 

They are the first to arrive because Anya still has to get to the high school on time.

 

“Miss Indra, this is my sister Lexa!” she introduces. Lexa hides her face in Anya’s hip as Miss Indra smiles and greets her new student. “She’s a little scared…” she then adds in a whisper.

 

“There’s no need to be scared, sweetie,” Miss Indra says in a soothing voice. “Why don’t I show you to your seat?” She holds out her hand. Lexa turns her head and peeks at her with one eye then swiftly hides her face again, shaking it.

 

“Come on, Lex you have to let go. I have to go to my school now.”

 

“No! Anni noo, I don’t want you to go! Don’t leave me!” she screeches. Tears are starting to roll down her face.

 

Anya bends down to her sister’s level.  She presses a kiss to her forehead. “You’re going to be amazing, Lexi. Miss Indra is very fun and very nice.”

 

“No!” Lexa throws her arms tightly around Anya’s neck. Anya in turn looks up, pleadingly at her old teacher.

 

By now, more students have started coming into the room. With no hesitation to run over to the other kids, immediately starting to interact and have fun before the beginning of class. Some of the parents give Anya and Miss Indra sympathetic looks. Most are secretly and some _not_ so secretly relieved that their children aren’t causing as much a commotion as Lexa is.

 

Raven walks in the classroom, her head held high and her hand firmly in her dad’s. They look around at the groups of desks and they find Raven’s in a comfortable silence. He bends down and hugs her tightly. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

 

“Yes, daddy!” she giggles. “I gotta go to school so I can be smart like you, ‘member!”

 

“You’re going to be the smartest one here, my little engineer.” Ryan Reyes works at the nuclear plant a couple towns over. Raven copies almost everything he does, right down to sneaking into his closet and putting on his lab coats, which she practically swims in.

 

Raven beams at him, admiration in her eyes. “I love you, daddy!”

 

He returns the sentiment before kissing the top of her head for a long moment. After a long hug, he leaves the classroom. He’d wanted to originally talk to the teacher, however after seeing the situation she was currently in, he realizes that’s not going to happen. He’ll talk to her after class.

 

Raven puts her science-themed backpack on her desk and looks around the classroom. She’s got this. She’s going to be the smartest one here. She’s going to be smart; just like her daddy.

 

She repeats that in her head a couple times.

 

She notices the little girl still crying with her arms wrapped around a bigger girl’s neck. Everyone else, she’d noticed, are already playing and laughing with the other kids. She doesn’t really know anyone though.

 

So in that moment, she decides to befriend the crying girl. Maybe they could become the bestest friends and they could laugh and play like the other kids.

 

Raven walks over to the three (because she's brave and not scared at all of this new adventure!) and tugs at the older girl’s shirt.

 

Anya looks to her side, after feeling the tug on her shirt. Lexa’s arms are still tightly wound around her neck. “Oh hi! What’s your name?”

 

“My name is Raven Reyes!” she states proudly. Her eyes drift to the other girl. “Is she okay?” Raven asks, shyly pointing to Lexa.

 

Anya lets out a little laugh. “Yes, Raven, she’s just a little scared. Lexi, look someone is here to see you!”

 

Lexa peeks out again and sees a girl next to her big sister. She’s got dark brown hair, much darker than hers and wide brown eyes, with a friendly glint in them. “Hi, I’m Raven!” she greets, waving excitedly.

 

Lexa stays silent. Anya is finally able to release Lexa’s death grip. “Come on, Lex…introduce yourself!”

 

Lexa looks down. “Be strong,” Anya whispers in her ear. “Take a deep breath. Remember what mama always told us.”

 

Of course, Lexa doesn’t really remember much about their mother. Only that Anya kept repeating to herself, and sometimes to Lexa, that the Woods family isn’t weak.

 

Whatever that means.

 

The younger girl does what her sister requested though, taking in a deep breath. She is strong. She looks up again and Raven is still smiling.

 

“…I’m Lexa,” she says in a quiet voice.

 

Anya and Miss Indra make eye contact and silently slip away from the two young girls as Raven says something about a pack of markers in her backpack and becoming best friends.

 

“Maybe Lexa isn’t ready for this…I’ll just take her home and I don’t know, we’ll try again next year.”

 

“Anya, I know this past year has been hard on you and Lexa, but we both know Lexa needs to start school this year.” Anya knows her teacher is right. “You’ve already put off starting your senior year once. You may be the only family Lexa has now, but you know as well as I do, that you cannot allow yourself to stay home with Lexa again for another year. She will come around before you know it.”

 

A stray tear slips down Anya’s cheek.

 

God she misses her parents.

 

“If I remember correctly, one other Woods daughter was a little scared and nervous her first day…”

 

Anya smiles as she wipes at her cheek and tries not to blush at the reminder.

 

“Lexa will be okay, Anya. I promise you that. Now you have to get going. Don’t let Kane regret giving you this free period so you can get her to school.”

 

Anya looks to the clock above the door and mutters a quiet curse under her breath.

 

“Thanks Miss Indra, I should probably get out before Lex even notices I’m not here.” She hugs the older woman and slips out of the classroom, giving her baby sister one last longing look, before disappearing down the hallway.

 

Lexa doesn’t even realize her sister is gone.

 

* * *

 

**8 th Grade:  Lexa - 12/Raven – 13**

In middle school Lexa and Raven now share an experience that no one ever really wants to share.

 

Lexa lost her parents when she was still young enough to not fully understand.

 

Raven loses her father just on the cusp of when she knows her life is about to change for good because of it.

 

~

 

Lexa wakes up to the sound of her window shattering.  She shoots up in her bed, leaps off it, and grabs the bat that Anya makes her keep under her dresser.

 

With a strong grip, and the bat poised and ready to swing, she tiptoes over to her now broken window.

 

She looks out into the night and sighs when she sees her best friend below, with a sheepish look on her face.

 

“What are you doing, Raven!” she yells down.

 

“Can I come up there?”

 

“Of course you idiot, you know where the spare key is!”

 

Lexa watches Raven nod then slowly walk over to the side of the house. She puts the bat back under her dresser and carefully picks up the broken pieces of glass. As she’s tossing them into her trashcan, her bedroom door opens.

 

Immediately she knows Raven’s been crying.

 

Raven stands in the doorway to the room she’s spent so much time in over the last eight years.

 

She remembers their first sleepover.

 

The first time she ran away from home because her mom wanted her to clean her room and she didn’t want to.

 

The first time Lexa told her about how her parents died.

 

When she told Lexa about the first boy she kissed…and the kiss she and Lexa shared right after—they both decided that was too weird in the end.

 

(This is the same bedroom that will see Lexa coming out to Raven in freshman year of high school after she gets caught staring at one of the girls in her gym class and Raven subsequently admitting that she’s scared because she thinks she’s attracted to both genders.

 

Where they’ll spend countless hours gushing over cute girls and sometimes cute boys and Lexa will fake gag, to which Raven will slap her arm, laughing.

 

Where they’ll fight and yell and say things they don’t mean.

 

Where they’ll make up again because best friends don’t stay mad forever).

 

Raven left her house, what felt like hours ago before finally ending up at her best friend’s house. But now, remembering all of those memories, memories that she’d recalled back to her dad afterwards (and memories she’ll never be able to share with him) because she always told him everything; well now she just breaks again and collapses to the floor.

 

Lexa is by her side in a second and holding her as sobs again escape her throat.

 

They stay there for the time it takes Raven’s sobs to cease once more. Lexa runs her fingers lightly through Raven’s dark hair, a comforting gesture that only makes her cry harder.

 

Her dad would do that whenever she was upset.

 

But he can’t anymore.

 

Because he’s gone now too.

 

Lexa is worried.

 

Raven isn’t one for crying all that often.

 

She takes what’s thrown at her in stride (they both do, actually).

 

Sometimes it’s because of that, that they always seem so much older than they actually are.

 

But here she is, sobbing into her best friend’s shoulder, her very confused best friend.

 

In this moment though, they’re so young again.

 

Not wise beyond their years.

 

It takes a while, but Raven’s tears eventually stop. Her shaking stops. And she’s left reduced to sniffles and a crying induced headache.

 

“Come on, Rae,” Lexa murmurs. She gently helps Raven up, and groans at the slight pain from leaning back into the edge of her door frame for too long. She leads her friend over to her bed and they lay down.

 

Lexa doesn’t ask any questions.

 

They’ve learned throughout the years that they don’t need to push each other to open up. They do it on their own time.

 

It’s what works for their friendship.

 

Just when Lexa thinks Raven has gone to sleep, Raven shifts and sits up. She wipes at her eyes, scoots back to the wall at the head of Lexa’s bed, and pulls her knees to her chest. Lexa follows, but shifts so she’s sitting cross-legged facing Raven’s side.

 

After a deep shaky breath, Raven finally speaks.

 

Lexa has to strain to hear it.

 

But what she hears makes her heart drop.

 

“There was an accident at the plant.”

 

The rest goes momentarily unsaid.

 

Lexa knows the pain Raven is feeling too well.

 

But she knows it’s harder on Raven, who knows the consequences of what happened.

 

Lexa, at the time, was too young to realize the severity of the accident that took her parents from her all those years ago.

 

She really only knows the second-hand pain, told to her only just last year, by her sister.

 

Raven continues though after a pregnant pause.

 

“There were no survivors.”

 

…

 

“ _He wasn’t supposed to work today! It was his day off_!”

 

Lexa cringes at the volume of Raven’s voice. She’s glad Anya is working her night shift tonight.

 

She doesn’t apologize.

 

She doesn’t say that everything is going to be alright.

 

She knows that Raven needs this time to get all her anger out; she doesn’t need the sympathy, not from Lexa.

 

God knows she’ll get it from everyone else.

 

* * *

 

**10 th Grade: Lexa – 15/Raven – 16 **

 

Raven loses her virginity to the boy next door who has the Justin Bieber hair, two months after her 16th birthday.

 

Lexa gets her first girlfriend a day after Raven’s sweet 16. It’s a girl she meets at the party; a girl two grades above them, that Raven has physics with.  

 

They both get their hearts broken for the first time, on the same night.

 

~

 

Lexa calls Anya, sitting on the curb in front of the movie theater, crying. She hadn’t wanted to call her sister. She knows Anya is going to be pissed.

 

She’d never liked Costia.

 

And she wasn’t shy about sharing how much she didn’t trust the senior.

 

But Raven isn’t answering her phone. And Lexa’s tried calling three times.

 

After the third call going straight to voicemail, she resigned and called Anya.

 

Raven’s just asleep, Lexa tells herself. It’s a school night after all.

 

Anya is there in ten minutes, rushing out of her car, and hugging her sister.

 

“Can you take me to Raven’s?” Lexa asks, her voice soft and trembling.

 

Anya hesitantly nods. It’s a school night, and she didn’t even want to let her sister go to the movies that night to begin with.

 

However, the bond Raven and Lexa share is something Anya doesn’t really understand. She knows there’s just some things Lexa needs her best friend for and not her protective older sister. So she agrees and drives off the familiar path to the Reyes residence.

 

When they get there, Lexa sees Raven’s bedroom light on. Her mother answers the door.

 

She says something about Raven being at Finn’s house, working on an English project.

 

Lexa wants to throw up.

 

It’s the first time Raven isn’t there right away, ready to listen.

 

Raven has her own life, Lexa knows.

 

But it’s after 10:00pm on a Thursday.

 

She knows they’re not working on a project this late, Finn isn’t even in Raven’s English class.

 

Lexa thanks Raven’s mother, and another tear falls down her face once the door closes.

 

She trudges back to Anya’s car and cries, “just _leave_!” when Anya asks if everything is okay.

 

~

 

It’s half past one in the morning when Raven calls Lexa back.

 

Lexa wants to be mad and passive aggressive and not answer the call, but it’s not like she could sleep anyway. She’d been tossing and turning since she’d gotten settled into bed that night, trying too hard to find the sleep that was evading her.

 

“What.” she answers.

 

“Lex…don’t be mad at me.” Raven’s voice is pleading. “I’m sorry I missed your calls.”

 

“It’s whatever. You have a life. Now if you don’t mind, I was trying to sleep.”

 

There’s an uncomfortable silence—a rare occurrence in their friendship—as Lexa holds her cell phone up to her ear.

 

“Do you want to talk about it…?” Raven asks after a long moment.

 

“Talk about what? Talk about how Costia dumped me because I wasn’t ready to let her fuck me? Or, oh! How about how you were at _Finn’s_ when I came to your house afterwards?” Lexa spits Finn’s name, and Raven recoils from the fire in Lexa’s voice.

 

“Lex, I’m sorry!”

 

“Don’t, Raven.”

 

“Please, let me explain.”

 

“No.”

 

“Lexa, please!”

 

Raven stares down at her phone when she realizes that Lexa has hung up on her. She immediately calls back.

 

She isn’t surprised when her call goes directly to voicemail.

 

She knows how much Lexa detests Finn.

 

Finn is an asshole.

 

He’s teased Lexa and bullied her for years.

 

And Raven wants to be sick as she thinks about what she’d just done with him.

 

The feeling of his rough hands on her body.

 

His selfish thrusts.

 

How he rolled over after finishing, leaving Raven uncomfortable, in pain, and more than unsatisfied.

 

She doesn’t even know _why_ she’d slept with him.

 

(She tries to tell herself that it definitely wasn’t because she’d heard Costia bragging about sleeping with Lexa.

 

It makes her feel worse when she realizes Costia had just been lying to her friends about it.

 

She tries to swallow the guilt.

 

Because she believed her too).

 

She curls up under her covers and cries herself into a fitful sleep.

 

~

 

Lexa isn’t waiting at her locker the next morning (probably because the late bell has already rung, and Raven doesn’t want to think about how she probably wouldn’t have been there even if she’d been on time…) and when she gets to their first period class, nearly five minutes late, Lexa is sitting in her normal seat, but Raven’s is taken by a girl Raven knows Lexa has other classes with.

 

Lexa doesn’t even look up.

 

Raven feels her stomach sink and her heart shatter further and then their teacher is scolding Raven for being late.

 

“Do you have a slip, Raven?”

 

Raven shakes her head and mumbles a quiet, “no.”

 

“Miss Reyes, you know the rules. Please go to the office and get your tardy slip.”

 

Raven nods and leaves the room.

 

She doesn’t return.

 

~~

 

It takes a week for Lexa to talk to her again.

 

Raven falls during cross country practice. It’s a mistake she’s been conscious to never make.

 

But she’s really not been paying much attention to the little things lately. She’s distracted and can’t stop thinking about how Lexa hates her.

 

How she deserves Lexa’s hate.

 

How she hates herself.

 

She stumbles over the dip in the ground that everyone is warned of during the first practice. They’ve all heard enough of the horror stories told by the coaches.

 

Her leg breaks in three places.  

 

She’ll never run again.

 

She’ll never get a full ride to the university of her choosing.

 

Her running career is over, and Raven spends the duration of the ambulance ride crying because her best friend probably won’t even care.

 

Oh how wrong she is.

 

Lexa shows up at the hospital, guilt written across her face, and nervously playing with the ring on her finger (her mother's, a memento, given to her on her 11th birthday when Lexa was curious about her parents). Her nervous tick, Raven notes. And Raven feels a tear slide down her face when Lexa tentatively steps into the room.

 

They spend the night curled up in Raven’s hospital bed (Lexa lying on Raven’s right, so not to bother her left leg, which is covered to the knee in a white cast and raised up by that strap thing hanging from the ceiling) after both apologizing for the last week.

 

Raven tells Lexa how much Finn sucked in bed, and Lexa laughs when Raven says, “For how much confidence he has, his dick is really small.”

 

Lexa tells Raven about how Costia tried to go further than she was comfortable with after they’d left the movie they had gone to see.

 

About how she’d kicked Lexa out of her car when Lexa said she wasn’t ready and drove off, leaving her standing alone in the theater parking lot.

 

Raven calls her a bitch after telling her about the things she’d heard Costia saying in class, Lexa nods sadly in agreement into Raven’s shoulder.

 

* * *

 

**12 th Grade: Lexa – 17/ Raven - 17**

 

They meet Clarke during their senior year. She’s new and captures the attention of everybody. Because fuck she’s beautiful and confident and everything someone could ever want in a person.

 

And just like that, both are willing to toss aside a friendship that’s lasted since kindergarten.

 

~

 

Clarke has first period AP English with Raven and AP U.S. History with Lexa fourth period.

 

At fifth period lunch they both gush about the new girl and how her bright blue eyes light up the room when she smiles.

 

Raven calls dibs and Lexa glares at her because the last time (yes, it’s happened before) this happened, Raven got to escort Octavia fucking Blake to Winter Ball.

 

(Of course that was before she absolutely crushed Raven’s heart when nearly two months later, she and Lincoln officially became the school’s power couple. Still going strong, 2 years later).

 

They continue their glaring match until speak of the devil (or devils rather); Clarke walks into the cafeteria, flanked by Octavia on one side and Jasper and Monty on the other.

 

And they’re walking straight to Raven and Lexa’s table.

 

So after that mishap with Octavia freshman year, the three of them became pretty close friends—though neither could argue that Raven and Lexa’s bond was affected because of it, because it wasn’t. Nothing could tear them apart, even adding a new best friend into the midst.

 

“Hey guys, do you mind if Clarke sits with us today?”

 

Lexa sputters for an answer and Raven tries to do that sexy smirk thing that Lexa dies of laughter at whenever she attempts.

 

“Okaaay…I’ll take that as a yes!”

 

She plops down next to Raven, her normal seat, and Raven may or may not pout when Clarke takes the seat next to Lexa, with a smile sent her way.

 

Small conversation is made:

 

“ _So where are you from?_ ”

 

“ _What’s your plans for after high school?_ ”

 

“ _Do you play World of Warcraft?_ ”

 

Oh Jasper…

 

~~

 

Two months later, Octavia can sense the tension between Lexa and Raven. And she’s here to put a stop to it.

 

It’s the third week in a row that one of the two has cancelled their weekly Friday night movie night.

 

It’s the first time it’s been cancelled for more than a week in a row, and that’s when Octavia really knows it’s not just “family commitments” or “too much homework.”

 

She’s fed up with how they’ve been acting.

 

So she decides to take matters into her own hands.

 

**_Octavia (5:36 pm): you two idiots better be at my house in half an hour or I’m going to forcibly drag you here if I have to_ **

Okay, so it takes a little bit longer than half an hour and just as Octavia is grabbing her keys by the table next to the door, it opens.

 

Lexa is standing there on her doorstep, her arms crossed against her chest and a grimace on her face. Raven stands slightly ahead of her, halfway through the doorway, shocked to see Octavia right there.

 

“Good, you’re making my life a _little_ easier. _For once_.”

 

She leads them up to her room and sits down on the bed.

 

Lexa stands by the door and Raven takes Octavia’s desk chair.

 

“Are you guys fucking serious?”

 

No answer.

 

“What the hell is going on? I haven’t seen you two like this since last year when Lexa accidently crashed her bike into your shit piece of car, Raven.”

 

Lexa crashed into Raven's car and it took all of two days before Raven talked to her again. But that was after countless apologies and texts from Lexa. 

 

It's a little different this time around, when neither girl even tries to reach out and apologize to the other.

 

“Hey! It’s not shit!” she squeals in response.

 

“Dude it is shit. Now are you going to answer my question?”

 

…

 

“Oh come on! I’m tired of this!” Octavia shoots up from her bed, angrier than either girl has ever really seen her.

 

Raven is glaring at Lexa and vice versa.

 

Octavia’s head is flitting back and forth between the two, knowing someone is bound to break sooner or later.

 

Turns out she was right _(*coughs* as always_ )

 

“How’s that project going with Clarke, _Lex_?” Raven sneers.

 

Lexa opens her mouth to give a snide response back about how it’s perfect and that she should be jealous, when Octavia beats her to the punch.

 

“Oh no, tell me you’re fucking kidding me. I mean it’s not fucking April Fool’s day, so this can’t be a fucking prank.”

 

Lexa and Raven turn to face the other girl (almost, _almost_ like they forgot she was there for a second).

 

“ _Are you seriously fighting over a fucking girl?!_ ”

 

Well at least they have the decency to look sort of ashamed.

 

“This friendship has lasted, what, eleven, twelve years?” She gets a nod in response. “Twelve fucking years and you’re going to throw it all away because of the fucking new girl? You guys are fucking idiots.”

 

“O…”

 

“No, Raven! You don’t get to say anything anymore, unless it’s an apology to Lexa.” Octavia spins and looks to Lexa, “same goes for you,” she demands.

 

They feel guilty.

 

This friendship, it’s what everyone dreams of, but happens to so few.

 

They’ve been through so much.

 

Lexa looks to Raven, the glare she’s been sporting replaced by sad, tired eyes. She misses her best friend.

 

Raven looks to Lexa, guilt swimming across her eyes, silently pleading for this competition to end.

 

(She doesn’t realize that she never really had a chance…)

 

Octavia groans at the silence and silent conversation. But she’s learned to live with it.

 

The silence is interrupted by Lexa’s phone going off.

 

She looks sheepish, knowing exactly who’s texting her. Raven catches on and raises her eyebrow in question. Lexa sighs and pulls out her phone to answer Clarke back.

 

**_Clarke <33 (6:17 pm): heyyy where are you?? you’re supposed to come over tonight?_ **

****

**_Lexa (6:18 pm): I know. I am sorry. I’m at Octavia’s for a movie night…_ **

****

**_Clarke <33 (6:18 pm): oh right…_ **

Lexa feels the pang in her heart, knowing Clarke is upset. Lexa tells Clarke every Friday how weird it feels not to be at one of their houses, not getting ready for their weekly movie/sleepover night.

 

Raven watches as Lexa’s face flashes with that slight emotion to reading the text.

 

“Who is it, Lex…” Raven asks.

 

Wow, she notes how weird her name feels in her mouth after going weeks without saying it without some sort of malice.

 

Lexa looks down, not wanting to say. So she sends another text instead.

**_Lexa (6:20 pm): Why don’t you come over here tonight, I think it’s about time that I told Raven about us._ **

“Lex?” Octavia chimes in.

**_Clarke <33 (6:20 pm): I don’t want to intrude … you’ve mentioned how different things have been btwn you lately _ **

 

“It’s Clarke,” Lexa responds. Her voice is quiet, but the room is pretty silent. “We were supposed to work…” she stops, takes a breath, and starts again.

 

Fuck it.

 

She doesn’t want to hurt Raven.

 

But the way Clarke makes her feel…

 

“We were supposed to have a date tonight.”

 

**_Lexa (6:23 pm): I’ll ask them._ **

 

Lexa looks up at Raven, there’s hurt in her eyes and written on her face. She doesn’t know how she really expected Raven to react. In the last couple of weeks, when Lexa would sit cuddled with Clarke, so many different scenarios would run through her mind at the thought.

 

This is the one she didn’t want to happen.

 

She would have rather Raven yelled at her. Or walked away and ignored her. But the look of betrayal and hurt, it’s one that slices into her heart.

 

“I guess…I guess I never really had a chance with Clarke, huh?” Raven asks. After a moment she adds, “Even though I _did_ call dibs.”

 

There’s a joking smile on her face.

 

But Lexa can still see through it.

 

It pains her to say it, and go back to her joking self, but Lexa knows it’s what they need for the possibility of the friendship getting back to normal.

 

Just like it always has, and always does.

 

“I’m sorry, Raven,” Lexa starts.

 

“Why? Why couldn’t you just tell me, Lex?” Raven asks, her voice quiet. “I would’ve understood.”

 

Lexa looks away, down to her hands where she’s playing with her ring again.

 

The developments in her relationship with Clarke are fairly new.

 

It started as just being partners for the year-long project for their history class.

 

But then Clarke was rambling on during one of their meet ups about how a boy named Finn kept hitting on her and how she kept turning him down, but no matter how many times she said no, he wouldn’t back down. And then Lexa was fuming because of course Finn would try to lure Clarke into his trap.

 

His small dicked-overly confident trap.

 

Lexa new he would destroy her.

 

It’s what he does.

 

Raven wasn’t the same after what happened two years prior, because afterwards he wouldn’t leave her alone. It got to the point where even Anya threatened to go to the police and get a restraining order.

 

So Lexa just reacted.

 

She’ll blame it on her anger, her clenched fists, and broken memories.

 

Or maybe it was the way Clarke looked at her.

 

How Lexa was the only person in a full classroom.

 

How she smiled when Lexa stumbled over her words because it was just so fucking cute (Lexa definitely would not blush, bright as a tomato and try to look away whenever Clarke called her out on it, laughing the entire time).

 

But she leaned closer to Clarke, they were sitting on Lexa’s bed with their books open around them.

 

She leaned in and placed her hand to Clarke’s cheek, her fingers just reaching behind to tangle in Clarke’s beautiful blonde hair.

 

Clarke met her half way. Their lips connecting for a chaste and unexpected kiss. And when Lexa pulled back slightly, just so she could tilt her head to the side, their noses brushed and Clarke pulled her back in.

 

Lexa thinks about that day a lot. She thinks about the moments they’ve shared since then. She thinks about how she’d confided in Clarke because she knew Raven would hate her for getting her first.

 

But Lexa knew it was never really a competition. She didn’t think of Clarke as her prize.

 

So why was she so scared of how Raven would react?

 

They’re best friends.

 

Best friends that tell each other everything.

 

“You would go on about how pretty her eyes were, or how she smiled and flirted with you in English,” Lexa began. “I would get so jealous, because she’d smile at me too and we would laugh together and her eyes would light up whenever she’d look at me.”

 

When Lexa looks up again, she sees the look of understanding on Raven’s face. And she sighs because this is Raven, her best friend…

 

But could best friends really crush on the same girl without any tension?

 

“I knew you had a crush and I did too and I just couldn’t shake how much Clarke made me feel the more I got to know her. But then I remembered that first day again and again. You calling dibs because you saw her first.”

 

Raven’s expression turns to guilt, and when she goes to reply, Lexa lets her because she needs to hear what Raven has to say.

 

“I think…no, I got so mad and jealous when I saw you and Clarke getting closer, Lex. Because she is so beautiful and sincere and I thought she would make the perfect girlfriend. And I think the more I’d see you interact, the more I’d get so mad because I thought she should’ve been mine. But you got to her first and I was jealous and too proud to admit defeat.”

 

“She’s more than that though, Rae…” Lexa sighs, “She’s not perfect and she’s not a trophy that I get because I got to her first.”

 

“I know, that sounded worse than I meant,” Raven laughs. It was a sad laugh though, because tears are gathering in her eyes and she’s just so emotional right now okay?

 

It’s been so long since she’d had a real, meaningful conversation with her best friend. And it’s a lot to handle right now because fuck, she’s really missed Lexa.

 

“I know.”

 

There’s a pause between them.

 

Words left unsaid.

 

“ _I’m falling in love with her_.”

 

“ _I don’t want to lose my best friend._ ”

 

“ _You won’t lose me too._ ”

 

Octavia will never understand how the two of them can just have these conversations without saying anything.

 

She knows its easier for them than actually saying any words most times.

 

But right now, all she’s focused on is the friendship being mended.

 

A friendship with many cracks, with many bruises, and patches. It’s as strong as ever though. And she knows the two are on the right track when Raven breaks the silence and says, “You should tell Clarke to come over and join us, Lex. It’s about time I meet my best friend’s girlfriend.”

 

Lexa smiles and Raven gets up to hug her, but not before brushing the tears from Lexa’s cheek.

 

One step at a time.

 

Their friendship was forged on tears and brave faces.

 

They fight and they cry.

 

What hurts them becomes a pillar, holding them up when the force of everything else pushing down on them becomes too much.

 

But they’re strong in the end and the bond between them is just as sturdy despite the bumps and setbacks that comes with the territory of life.

**Author's Note:**

> So?


End file.
